Dont know what to do, dont know what to think.

[~*LeXi*~]

Ok well awhile back round just before x-mas, i started liking this guy. Im usally a very closed person and find it hard to open up to any one, always use to deny my feelings for anyone, so this was the first guy i liked so it was a shock.

Any way the guys a youth worker at my church youth group. He's 20 and im 18 so it isnt that bad, depends what your views are like, any ways this was just after my bf dumped me and messed me round, so at first i thought i was just re bounding and didnt take much notice of the crush, but as time went on and i got over my ex and left that in the past i still found my self liking this guy and it seem to grow more and more.


i usally go to my old secoundary school to help the church youth group with the club they run there, of course the guy i liked was there helping, at first i put alot of effort in to talk 2 him and get to know him, after that he would sometimes tease me, mess my hair up, push me etc, i knew it could be friendly and that all and could of been taking it the wrong way, some weeks he wouldnt do anything, we would barly talk.

I remember one day we were watchin a movie at my school and he stole my place and he would move when i asked so i sat down on his lap, well inbetween him and this guy in yr11, of course he was eating a sauage roll and chewing in my ear loadly perposly and kept laughing, one of the kids on the sofa said ill move in the minute and he just turned round and said dont worry, but in the end the other guy i was sat on got up and i got a space.

During the christmas hols he went snow boarding and after that i found out he got a gf so that was kind of depressing, things died down after that, he would sumtimes mess round like he use to but of course then i didnt know him really well.

Things went on with him sometimes messing round at times, but nothing major. when it hit valentines day i found out he was single. think he broke up with his gf over distance or something, i wasnt sure if it was official etc so i left it again but then as things went on etc i knew he was actually single again.

Things went on as usal, sometimes would push me or something, he went through a fase of putting his arm round me sometimes after a joke or trying to make me jump. that stopped after a few weeks, after that it was always messing up my hair.

I was thinking it was all friendly that it ment nothing, that he just saw me as a kid that went to the clubs etc cause he didnt always talked to me, sometimes barly at all. It was a weird on and off thing.

Just before my half term he didnt really mess my hair up or anything so i thought nah he dosent like me and tried to get over him, which is always proved harder said then done.

After the half term i didnt go to the clubs for 3 wks almost 4 and church 2wks during that cause of all my college work etc and helping at the farm. I wasnt to botherd about going either, i actually thought i was getting over him.

Then last friday i got a messge on face book from him asking if i was going to church sunday ( obviously because i havnt been in 2wks or been round in ages) I said yeah i am, why do you ask?
He said cause havnt seen you in ages. It did make me smile but i just kept thinking nah its like me asking a friend and saying that, but as i went to church and today i went to the clubs and he seemed to be talking to me alot now, like hes catching up, he mostly talked about kingdom hearts 2 because me and 2 others got him to buy it.

Today he sat next to me alot before going to play football with the clubs and also when they put on hannah montana which he didnt like of course. He kept teasing me saying i was enjoying it etc, he kept putting his hand on my head and messing it up a bit, i mean when he was sat there with his feet on my chair i swear he was looking at me but then he could of been looking at the kids playing games on the consoles that were slightly behind me, although i did have the courage once to look and he was looking at me but then he could of looked the same time i did.

I dont know what to think now. Im just thinking it could be friendly. Sometimes he would mess other kids hairs up etc.
It is complicated cause he a youth worker and i havnt spent time with him outside clubs.

Sorry for the extreamly long talk, just needed to vent everything, would tell you more but i need to get to bed. If anyones got any advice or thought please let me know.

Thanx

[Luna]

Lexi, you like him. And thats okay! I think that what you should do though is just wait a little bit longer, and try to hang out with him, play KH2 with him, just chill with him. Then once you two are a little bit closer together in terms of a friendship, just tell him! Vent it all out with him. If you feel comfortable around him, safe, thats good. Now I probably don't have the best boyfriend/i like this guy experience because ive never really dated -- just liked guys. And I ended up telling my entire class when I was little in grade 4 that I liked my best friend Brenden--- that was when I was little though. I don't really have courage so I don't tell the guys I like that I like them a lot of the time. Other people have better advice then I do, though.

[xxnefariousxx]

Lady, I'm going through the same thing right now. You two sound like you have a lot of fun together and are obviously great friends. I would just tell him. Maybe confront on how his actions are confusing you. Does he like you? etc. etc.

But definitely tell him. Don't be subtle about it, however - be straight forward and tell him the truth of how you like him. It'll let you know how he feels, and it'll help get your feelings off of your chest. It may be scary, but try to play the scenerio out in your head - what you're going to say, his possible answers etc. etc. I do it all the time and I'm about to tell a guy I like that I like him.

Best of luck with you, Lex!

[~*LeXi*~]

thnx for the advice guys, ive been told to tell him but its kinda complicated with him being a youth worker and the fact hes never invited me out. When i think of that i think nah he doesnt like me. We arent great friends really. We havnt hung out outside the clubs or talked about problems. he never usally chats with me on facebook, he never txts or rings me,

Half the time when i go to the school they are mostly out playing football and only in for the hour for group actiivities. Im proberly making this more complicated then it actually is. The only 2 things that are really running through my head is that he's a youth worker, dont know if he thinks im to young for him and the fact im off to uni at the end of september/begging of october and i think hes going to london or something like that. :S

[...analu!]

I don't think age is that much of a problem, i mean, it's only a 2-year difference and at 18, your goals/ideals should me just about the same as his are. Sometimes guys have the same kind of feelings we do, i mean, maybe he's just as confused as you are! Maybe he thinks you think the same way: "does she think i'm too old for her?" or, "does she like me the way i do? we never see eachother, maybe she doesn't", etc.

and yeah, it does help to go out sometimes, but what if YOU asked HIM out? I understand you're shy, but from what i understood, you're perfectly "normal" around him. So why not invite him and a couple of other friends out sometime, just to get to know eachother? even if he doesn't want to ask you out, you guys can build a good relationship as friends! =D

but i hope thinks work out, maybe he does like you underneath all that shyness ; )

[~*LeXi*~]

Thats very true . Thts the problem with these things its always 50/50 and sometimes its really hard to read people and what there actions mean.
I could always invite him out just go for it and see how it goes and like you said even if he only liked me as a mate we have that friendship that gets built up.

I asked him once to go see national treasure 2 cause he mentioned bout seeing it with people but he never replied to my facebook comment :S, maybe its the way i said it or maybe he didnt mean taking me, duno. ive invited him to things in the past but hes never been able to make it, once he was ill for my 18th then he was going back home for the half term when i was organisng the cinema with people.

Plus the only thing that seems to hold me back from inviting him out etc is the fact he's a youth worker at the clubs i go to, thats how i know him. Maybe i should invite him bowling with a few other youth workers i get on with most of them are between 19-20 some are older like 25. Can always invite a mate as well. What do you think?

[...analu!]

I think that's a great idea! Especially if there are other people involved, other people he feels comfortable with, too! (:

[~*LeXi*~]

cool, thanx ana and thnx everyone else for the advice.