How do you become not afraid of speaking to others

[Tina]

(I'm posting my main question first if your non-interested in anything else I have to say)
I guess my overall question is, like how do you become not afraid to talk to people?(in front of people)
Its a skill I greatly lack... and if I don't get over it, I know I won't get anywhere .___.

Like is there like a secret way to become brave?
Are there like any schools that force you to talk to people to make you more use to talking to people? (but in like not such a harsh way at first XD)
What would they be called?
Is it to late for someone who just graduated from high school?
Seriously, I'm pretty serious about it XD (Though I'm very bad at showing it, and sounding like I mean it to other people)

Would you happen to have any sites you'd recommend I ask this question? (This is too long to put on yahoo answers)


Well all my life, I have been the shy timid girl who's afraid to talk to strangers especially but pretty much everyone in general, even friends.

I guess I contridict myself though because I love to be around people, I'm afraid to be around people. (My mind is a pretty empty mind so I don't have things to say to others to begin with.... but when I do a lot of the time it comes blurted out all wrong, and said in non-logical order X___X)

Then my main problem is.... I would love to be a voice actor XD
And I was reading up on it, and there was something about "We hate to see a shy person come in and not be able to say their lines"
And that was something that is, well something I'll problbly do T___T

But like I can be in a room by myself, and I can shout phrases to myself, and I tell myself weird random things in a voice I wish I were comfortable talking in around others (But seriously the things I say to myself sound stupid, dumb, and have basically no point so I know everyone would find it obnoxious >__< I just wish I had bravery to talk in that non-shy tone, that I talk to with myself)

But I just don't get it... I could like talk into a mic and record something, and send it to someone with no problem, that they know its me.
If they wanted to come and listen to the same thing in person I'd be all timid about it and be afraid to try T____T
(I could record myself acting out something, and have so much fun showing it to people, beacuse I love seeing peoples reactions to things I've done espcially if they find it funny, but if they asked me to do it in person I'd freak out X___X)
It makes me so angry XD

Anyway, I love to do all different types of voices (Though I have a problem with holding onto certain voices for longer than a few words, but I would love to be able to improve on it) I don't know how to really explain this though XD
My regular voice is a very low voice, but its just fun to be able to talk in a higher pitched voice, and then try to match it with a character. But they're not like the types of voices that I would be comfortable talking with in everyday conversations. (But i like talking in a funny weird voice to)

Or maybe thats just stupid and considered 'just something that people do time to time' or I don't know, but I think it'd be the funnest career if I could actually do something like that in front of people, and be able to act out like an animated character (Espcially anime's that I like to watch that haven't been made into an english dubs yet XD)

I don't know I have a hard time explaining exactly how I feel and exactly what I mean, I just make it all sound very vague and meaninless T___T (I don't know how to explain it correctly v_________v)

And then the other half of the problem is freezing up in situations of me having to talk in front of 1 or more people. (And if I'm expecting that moment, I'll problbly be getting all sick to my stomach thinking about how scared I'll be)
I have to go out and get a job soon....and this whole interview process thing is like something that I am very scared of (I know I will freeze up, and start talking like a stupid mumbling mummy because I'm scared, it happen during our schools portfolio presentations, it was horrible for me)

[Illiop]

I always had the same problem as you...well actually i have no problem with public speaking but i still hate talking to people i don't know or even worse, people i know a little bit but not enough to be comfortable around them.

What I used to do was practise having conversations with people, anybody, in my head, i'd just imagine a situation where i would have to or where i just had something to tell.

When I am actually talking to people my head is often empty too but my mum always told me to ask questions. That way you don't have to think up interesting things to say and you come across as outgoing, like "What school do you go to?...Oh yeah thats a nice place did you ever do/visit/meet such and such?" or "I heard you were in France?...Oh the south, really? thats supposed to be lovely, was the weather good?" Just simple things like that. Conversations, I have learnt, are built on questions.

And for saying your lines try building up your confidence by saying practiceing infront of people you are comfortable around like your mother or your very best friend. Then move out of your comfort zone with bigger groups, matbe your whole family, your mother would still be there to remind that you could do it before but now there'd be others. Do the same for interviews, there are pretty standard interview questions like "where do you think you could most improve?". Only make sure you don't learn those questions off, you know, just have a vague outline other wise when you say them to an interviewer they'll no straight away that they're learnt off.

Really, once you get a bit of confidence it'll be no bother. or you could ignore all that and just be drunk all the time, nothing like bottled confidence! only messing by the way!

[Domino]

Im really timid as well! you do not want to see me at school standing infront of the class doing an oral i thing you being a voice actor is a great idea! you should keep practicing and even if you practice to yourself in your room, the shower, taping yourself... anything!

I have the mumbles as well as the verbal nosence that appears in every conversation making me look compleatly stupid... i dont know how to fix this cause everytime i think calm down i pour more uselessness around the conversation and i rush my words so it just sounds like mushed together mumble 0_0... Guys are the worst to talk to! i start shaking and freaking out if im saying the right thing. i did try somthing that helped though^_^ a nateral calming product called rescue remedy. It tasted like flowers and you squirt it under you tounge. its like instant worry be gorn! i ran out though so i have to go get somemore from the chemist. you dont need any doctor appointment it should be located in the herbal/nateral section if you want to try it. i dont know if they sell it were you live though.

job interveiws are big things but if you practice before hand and be really organise im sure you will do fine

hope i helped a bit and good luck!

[Rach]

i agree with domino - rescue remedy helps tons! veery calming.

i have exactly the same problem, when i meet up with people im not close to its just awkward silences and i hate it. like illiop said, questions are the source of conversations! but dont ask too many otherwise they may think you're interrigating them. but after a few a conversation should pop up. just dont be nervous, be yourself - dont talk too quietly either 'cos i do that alll the time.

[Tina]

I always had the same problem as you...well actually i have no problem with public speaking but i still hate talking to people i don't know or even worse, people i know a little bit but not enough to be comfortable around them.

Oh yes thats horrible X___X

What I used to do was practise having conversations with people, anybody, in my head, i'd just imagine a situation where i would have to or where i just had something to tell.

I seriously doubt that would help me, it'd be a big help if it did T___T
Sometimes I'll like talk to myself in front of a mirror (And I can sound the way I want to sound) But in person, it always always comes out wrong XD (<---makes me frustrtaed X___X)

When I am actually talking to people my head is often empty too but my mum always told me to ask questions. That way you don't have to think up interesting things to say and you come across as outgoing, like "What school do you go to?...Oh yeah thats a nice place did you ever do/visit/meet such and such?" or "I heard you were in France?...Oh the south, really? thats supposed to be lovely, was the weather good?" Just simple things like that. Conversations, I have learnt, are built on questions.

How do you go about bringing up a question? XD
If its completely silent, it'd be nerve recking for me to be the one to break the silence o___o
And then when people are talking I'd feel rude to interrupt.
And then like, what if they're talking about something and their done, and you have nothing to say, or nothing to ask thats kind of realated to what their talking about, would it be bad to bring up a question from a different topic (or slightly different)
I have no clue if you understood what I just wrote o___o

I do believe your correct about the whole questions are the start of conversations, its just I don't know when to ask questions, and what questions to ask.

And for saying your lines try building up your confidence by saying practiceing infront of people you are comfortable around like your mother or your very best friend.

I'm not really around people anymore though since I'm out of school (I'd like to go to college though... but eh... my mom's said to me all these years that they can't pay for it, and that I should go to a trade school, whatever that is o___o)
And my mom, out of everyone she's the person I'm most afraid of talking to. My dad less so, but uh... gosh I have lame excuses .___.

The only real confort zone for me is computer chatting.... I do have friends in real life, but I'm afraid to ask them over (It has to do with being to attached to my friends in elementry that I wanted to go to their houses every chance I got, one of them didn't mind it, but after one of them did and told my mom I was a pest, I never saw the other friend again, and ever since I like waiting for my friends to invite me vs. me inviting them, or asking to come over myself.)

And I absolutely hate phones, phones vs. people in person, its got to be people all the way. (I can't understand half of what the other person says on the phone most the time, so I would not want to spent my question asking on the phone X___X)

Do the same for interviews, there are pretty standard interview questions like "where do you think you could most improve?". Only make sure you don't learn those questions off, you know, just have a vague outline other wise when you say them to an interviewer they'll no straight away that they're learnt off.

The only thing I know would be people skills in general... after that my mind goes blank, but I guess I just need to think on it more...
Along with that I'm not really sure what my good traits are in like a job-like atmosphere. (well I guess I'm kind, pretty patient..., eh I'll think more on it)

Really, once you get a bit of confidence it'll be no bother. or you could ignore all that and just be drunk all the time, nothing like bottled confidence! only messing by the way!

Only thing is I have a problem getting out of my confort zone, everything you listed sounds like wonderful adive, and I really really appriciate it a lot, but I'm not sure if any of those things would really work for me T___T If I was still in school, it would be easier to use your advice, but I don't
Eh... I'm never going to drink XD (what could be spent on that could be spent on things that I find useful XD)

i thing you being a voice actor is a great idea! you should keep practicing and even if you practice to yourself in your room, the shower, taping yourself... anything!

Aww thanks
I love to try and dub mini clips from shows (even of the guys, but of coarse they don't sound that great XD)

I have the mumbles as well as the verbal nosence that appears in every conversation making me look compleatly stupid... i dont know how to fix this cause everytime i think calm down i pour more uselessness around the conversation and i rush my words so it just sounds like mushed together mumble 0_0...

That sounds exactly like me when I talk, if I talk X___X

a nateral calming product called rescue remedy. It tasted like flowers and you squirt it under you tounge. its like instant worry be gorn! i ran out though so i have to go get somemore from the chemist. you dont need any doctor appointment it should be located in the herbal/nateral section if you want to try it. i dont know if they sell it were you live though.

That sounds like an interesting product. Makes me curious as to how it works X3
The tasting of flowers sounds odd to me though, but maybe it taste good I dunno.
I think I'll look into that though ^^

job interveiws are big things but if you practice before hand and be really organise im sure you will do fine

I wish it was as easy as you say
But I had a portfolio presentation for school (It was a job interview like atmospher, but I got consolers so I got the kindest people to do my presentation in front of)
And I had words coming out, but you could tell I was nervous, and I was shaking, and my words all sounded like a fraidy-cat, I also forgot to say things to because of how nervous I was. (And almost broke a vase because I was unaware it was there o___o)
I did practice it several times in front of a camera with no problem, but being in person is like totally different. (I couldn't find any friends to practice for, or rather my friends during my lunches were jokesters, well they heard me but they kept getting off track the three times I asked, and I just gave up in frustration, though I didn't show it I was >___>)

i agree with domino - rescue remedy helps tons! veery calming.

i have exactly the same problem, when i meet up with people im not close to its just awkward silences and i hate it. like illiop said, questions are the source of conversations! but dont ask too many otherwise they may think you're interrigating them. but after a few a conversation should pop up. just dont be nervous, be yourself - dont talk too quietly either 'cos i do that alll the time.

If I can find it I'll see if I can get it ^__^

That don't be nervous be yourself thing, is a lot easier said than done, its seems more impossible to actually do, or feels that way X___X

I talk to quiet, and I always get told to speak up, which just makes what I have to say more nervous to say. (but it depends on the situation, its a 50/50 chance thing)



I'd like to thank you all, so so much for replying, It makes me happy that you all replied, I appreciate it!!! :3

I guess, I'll try to try some of these things, its just it'll problbly take me awhile to actually attempt.

[Noelle]

I don't have much time right now, but I thought I would plug this site that I found when I was playing with the thought of becoming a VA. It's a forum where people do fandubs and such for anime and games. I auditioned a few time there...never got anything, but the people there are really understanding a very nice. voiceactingalliance.com/board/index.php

[peacelovemusic]

omg this sounds just like me! i'm shy too.. until you get to really know me.

[huskiesrawesome]

im not shy or timidu but i get realy nervous before i go on but then im fine. mmmm...there isn't a secret to being brave. but do you lack self confidence? do you keep thinking oh what about if this happens or im going to screw up. that really dosen't help and if you audition 4 one of those voice thingy's the worse they can say is you didn't get the part. big deal get angry with them (in head) and be thinking about how they can't spot pure talent when they see it. then move on try again and someone will say yes. about talking to people start with small talk then when you find something in common wether it be a hobby, game, boy problems anything talk to them about your opinion on it and eventually you will get to a stage where you are comfortably talking. if there are any awk moments just fill them in with something random like goldfish look like carrots but dont taste like them